Well its now officially less than two weeks until i leave for home... I am sad to leave... I really love it here... Last night we had a party with the UJV kids... I wasnt sure if it was going to be possible but what do you say when someone says that you can make 64 kids plus staff so incredibly happy... i can give them food other than posho and beans for a night... i can give them a reason to party and have a good time with the staff... how do you say no to that?... So now, i sit here with 13 days left in this amazing country and $5 to my name... God is so faithful though...
So its 13days left and today, 13 days seems like a life time away. I really shouldnt complain, but really. Dont get me wrong, i love it here and in alot of ways im sad to be leaving in 13days... I feel like the UJV kids have finally broken down walls toward me, ive made AMAZING friends that have impacted my life more than i could have asked. I keep telling myself that ill be back so dont be sad... but what will happen between now and then? Will that child finally lose her battle to AIDS? Will they move somewhere not even close to here? Will they build up every wall plus more in that time toward me... Im praying against every one of those (okay maybe except Candyce and Steven moving a million miles away from here... Gods probably got something to do with that)... So this blog once again, doesnt make sense... Im sure you will get over it... as i will get over the fact that today, im so homesick that i just want to lay in bed and cry... but then at the same time be crying because im leaving in no time at all and really not wanting to. My life makes no sense. But today, ill go have coffee with the amazing candyce, we'll talk for hours like we normally do and ill probably cry some... tomorrow ill go to Jinja and have some fun in the jail and hospital... ill spend as much time with ujv as i possibly can... Life will go on...

the adventures of weighing 64 children...

Okay so i understand that this is my second blog TODAY but its necessary... So when i was first told that i would have to weigh, measure, get dress size and shoe size for each of the 64 children in UJV, i thought okay, that will take some time but im sure it will be fine... Oh how wrong i was... The first couple was fine... then they decided more than one person on the scale was fun... then they decided that they were going to try and get 20 people into a tiny little office... they all had this crazy look in their eyes... you know the look where one eye goes bigger than the other... the mouth goes mildly insane and you begin to think that crazy noises are coming from the walls because these kids certainly couldnt be making noises like that... one of my eyes grew larger than the other as i pleaded with them to just have one child on the scale at a time... then i yelled... they laughed and a few people ran out laughing... children... i love them... i really do... but sometimes im happy to be going home at the end of the day...

Blesed Beyond Measure.

Isnt it funny how some times, 2 weeks seems SO far away, then other times it seems like its right there infront of you? Some days I feel like Im never going to get home... Other days I feel like its so close that i may as well go today. I love it here, I really do. Last night we had a prayer night with the kids of UJV. It started out just hanging out with a few kids and a guitar... the kids and staff started dancing and having a great time. Then all the kids started to come around so we moved to a bigger area and got our worship on. We all danced and sang as we lifted high the name of Jesus. I sat down and closed my eyes. The bass from the drums was radiating through my heart and all i could do was cry. I opened my eyes and ALL of the kids were on their knees crying out to God. Forgiving the people that ripped their lives apart. Repenting on behalf of their families for the witchcraft. Forgiving everyone who has stolen from them or deceived them. It got me thinking, what right do i have to hate people? What right do i have to hold unforgiveness? Yes, i have been hurt. Yes, im allowed to feel hurt and its okay to cry but is it okay to take the role of God into my own hands and judge those around me? No. Is it okay for me to think about every way i could murder them and make them pay for what they did? No. Is it okay to hate God for what has happened? No. Im so blessed. So incredibly blessed. Life just doesnt make sense sometimes, but thats okay. God is good ALL the time. Before coming to Africa, I thought i would struggle to see the goodness of God. I was wrong. You just need to have a conversation with one of these kids... or see the hope in their eyes... or see the smile on their face and you can see OBVIOUSLY how great God is... Im blesed.

Someone said to me yesterday "Blogging just seems to be my new way of venting"... i think i may agree...
I love Africa, I really do... It's taken 4 weeks for the kids of the UJV to begin to open up to me. Last night, one of the older boys told me he wanted to tell me a story, he had a huge smile on his face so i thought he was just going to make one up... WRONG... He starts telling me all about his life and all about his life... about the rebels and his family etc... then he tells me how amazing Jesus is... then another girl sits down and just begins to worship, right next to me, with no music... I think its safe to say that these kids have blessed me 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000x more than i could ever bless them... Life is amazing.

latest thoughts

Life in Africa is an ADVENTURE!
To those mzungus who have visited Africa before... did you ever feel like just wetting your pants, or taking a poop just so people will stop coming up to you and stop screaming MZUNGU at you? Im there my friend, i am so there. Ah those days when you could walk to the store without anyone even noticing you were there... Now you cant even scratch yourself without someone screaming at you or someone trying to rub your skin to see if the white comes off... its certainly a strange feeling... How about those days when you could go to the grocery store and not be charged $1 million for a loaf of bread... those were the days, those were the days... ive contemplated buying shoe polish and covering my body with it... i dont think the cost of the shoe polish will out weigh the over charge that you have to deal with every day of your life in Africa... ah being white... today i was told that i was "too white" and she looked incredibly concerned for my health... is it really my fault that i go white, then red, then whiter than i was before? "Is that even possible?" i hear you ask... oh yes my friend, yes it is... welcome to my world... the world of albino skin and and an addiction to "aloevera sun burn lotion"... But hey, God doesnt make mistakes! Im pretty fabulous... :)

Life.

Ever wondered if it was even worth it? All that time, all that money, all that energy into making something happen? Maybe I should have just sent the money and stayed back. Am i even making a difference? I feel like im taking 5 steps forward and 4 steps back... Progress is progress i suppose... I dont feel like im doing anything that is actually helpful... I feel like I was doing more for the kingdom back home... Does He even need me? No... Is He simply choosing to use me? Yes... Why? I dont know... I feel drained and I feel tired... I feel like Im constantly under attack and Im struggling to keep my head above water... Praise God for all that He is doing... For all that He has done... For all that He will do... Praise God for the friends I have made while ive been here... Praise God for the stuff that He IS doing through me, even if i cant see it...Praise God that im here for a purpose and that the purpose will be fulfilled before I leave... Praise God for amazing friends back home who have constantly supported me... Praise God for the people who make life difficult and give God an opportunity to break through and do something amazing. Im so thankful to have a God that looks after me.. . This blog doesnt make sense, i know... My life doesnt make sense though... Who would have thought that i would end up here, ministering in Africa, worship leading, preaching... God is so good to me... What right do we have to complain about what God has us doing? He doesnt need us, He doesnt need me. He CHOOSES to use us, He CHOOSES to use me... Yes Africa is hard, but Africa is worth it.

Jacqui.

I think Jacqui needs to blog more... But i love her... Lots... and Lots.... and Lots... and lots... x98293874928374283749846347502998476387520938439867398475893457387620

Thats alot of love my friends, alot of love...

Africa

Yeah... Paul Colman Trio...

Africa
I came to change you but instead you changed me
And I confess I came to frame you in a photograph
But you showed me why
And you turned this heart around
And I see your smile how it can be
So much brighter than me
And your silent eyes they scream
Of hunger and meaning and eternal dreaming
Africa

Africa
We smiled at you from behind the glass
And without reserve and whiter than snow
You smiled back at us
And you showed me who
And you turned this mind around
And I see your hands reach out to God
So much higher than ours
And your silent eyes they scream
Of hunger and meaning and eternal dreaming
Africa

I had my first deliverence session last night... for someone else!
Ive never seen anything like it. I have a new level of love and respect for those who piled on me until i was free. Im not going to go into detail about what I saw, mainly because i dont want to glorify satan and the crappy attempts he makes to try to 'win'... overall, God won... that how it was and how it forever will be.